By Urbane Commando: custodian of cool, banisher of BS

People who know me, know that I tend to gravitate toward overly complicated, procedure laden, and ritualistic endeavors that often harken back to a time that I didn’t experience, yet have an inexplicable nostalgia for.  I still like film cameras, because they have a way of making the whole process slow down and mean more than the rapid-fire digital era has lead us all to believe.  I have limited frames of film to work with, and a mechanical camera that forces me to stop and think about what I am doing. The result of which is a simpler and significantly more satisfying exercise.   Do I get better results?  Not necessarily (although sometimes).  The antiquated methods have more to do with the enjoyment of the activity that they do about results, although in the grand scheme of things, results are always important.

I have a penchant for fountain pens too.  They can be messy and cantankerous to deal with, but ultimately add a level of enjoyment to my copious and sometimes burdensome writing chores that I have been missing for years.  I suppose I could simply pick up the nearest rollerball pen and achieve the same results, but at what cost?  A fountain pen makes me want to write and it makes me feel more expressive, and despite the fact that my personal handwriting resembles that of a third-grader all hopped up on grape soda, I feel like I write better.  I love fountain pens because I like the process, and I revel in the nostalgic inconvenience of the whole thing. Best of all, fountain pens represent another pursuit that I can delve into, research at length, and at some point become a go to source of fountain pen knowledge—and I really like that part.

Not all “old school” activities have to be undertaken solely for their antiquated charms however.  There are some out there that although time has seemingly passed them by, actually present the state of the art in terms of results.  One such operation is the old-time pleasure, and quite frankly superior results, that can be had from a wet shave with a safety razor.

Whoa!  Slow Down There, Cowboy!

Did I just say that an old fashioned wet shave with a safety razor yields superior results?   I sure did.  That single blade, usually made of tungsten steel, will shave you closer than any newfangled, 5-bladed, pivoting-headed contraption on the market today.  Not only that, but you’ll save some money in the process.

Welcome to the world of the single-blade safety razor.  It’s the grown man’s tool of choice.  It’s the shaving equivalent of trading in your electric scooter for a vintage motorcycle.  It’s not just about grooming – it’s about reclaiming your face from the tyranny of gimmicks.

So strap in (or towel up) and get ready to master the Ultimate Wet Shave. Spoiler: it doesn’t involve neon-blue shave gel or vibrating handles.  Just skill, steel, and a splash of old-school cool.

Why a Safety Razor is the Alpha Dog of the Pack.

Before we dive in face-first (heh) let’s be clear, your multi-blade razor is like every group project you’ve ever done in school.  One guy does all the work, and the rest just irritate everything. With every pass, those extra blades are dragging across your face like a bar brawl in slow motion – leading to ingrown hairs, razor bumps, and the kind of redness that screams “ I shaved with a garden rake”.

Enter the safety razor: one blade, one job, no drama.  It cuts clean, close, and with precision.  It doesn’t need backup dancers or batteries – just your steady hand and a little know-how.

Your Step-by-Step Guide to Wet Shave Glory.

1.   Prep like a pro.

Despite being the rugged he-man you are, the skin on your face is delicate. Mighty delicate.  It is prone to nicks and cuts, ingrown hairs and drying out like a coyote skeleton in the desert sun.  You’ve got to prepare it for the trauma and abuse that can result from introducing blade to face, and this is no place to skimp.  The first thing you will want to do is gently wash your face (and neck) with warm water and a nice, all-natural soap that still has all of the glycerin content.  I can’t stress how important that is.   PRO TIP:  A hot towel over the face for 30 seconds to a minute isn’t just fancy, it’s very functional too.  It opens pores and softens stubble like crazy, and as an added bonus you’ll feel like you’re in a barbershop scene from a mob movie. Classy. Then if you really want to reach shaving nirvana, while your face is still damp, take a few drops of a really high-quality shave oil or beard  oil

 [like Urbane Commando] and rub all over the areas you intend to shave. Your razor will glide like an Olympic speed skater.

2.  Lather up!      I’m not going to go into painful detail as to why you should avoid canned lather from the giant consumer packaged goods companies, you should probably have already realized that by now.  If not, there is plenty of information out there on the web.   What I will tell you is that the best way to lather your face for the optimal shave is to use a quality boar-bristle brush to apply an all-natural shave soap or cream- particularly one that contains some kaolin clay.  The brush allows the lather to completely cover your skin while causing your whiskers to stand at attention like the good little soldiers they are.   This is like foreplay for your face. Don’t skip it. And now you’re ready to shave!

3.  Pay Attention To The “Grain”.     You’ve probably heard this one before.  The hair on your face grows in a directional pattern.  The sides (usually) grow downward, whereas the neck hair sometimes grows sideways, or downward, or even upward in some strange cases.  The point is, you want to shave in the same direction the hair grows—especially if you are prone to ingrown hairs.  If the first pass doesn’t quite yield the close results you were looking for, re-lather and take a light pass against the grain---but ONLY after you have made a first pass with the grain.  That second pass will get you smoother than Sinatra in silk pajamas.  That’s it---easy peasy, lemon squeazy.

4.  High Pressure Gig.     If you are using a good old-fashioned single-edge safety razor or even an uber old school straight razor, don’t press too hard.   This is easy to say, and hard to put into practice sometimes, but you gotta watch it man.  Let the weight of the razor do most of the work.  If you press too hard, you are opening yourself up to myriad cuts, nicks, razor burn, ingrown hairs and various other things that will lessen the experience.  So don’t do it.  BOOM.

5. Cold Water, Calm Face.  Once you’re done, rinse with cold water to close those freshly shaved pores.  Pat dry –don’t rub like you’re trying to buff out a scratch on your car.  Then follow up with a good alcohol-free aftershave balm.  It should soothe, hydrate, and maybe smell like the inside of a whiskey barrel (optional but encouraged).

Final Thoughts from Urbane Commando.

That’s it.  It’s not rocket surgery by any means.  If you just follow these few simple steps, you will be on your way to the closest, cleanest, and dare I say, sexiest shave of your life.   But beware, once you do it for the first time, you will be hooked.  And remember that using a safety razor doesn’t just give you a better shave, it makes you a better shaver.  You’ll slow down. You’ll pay attention. And your face?  It’ll thank you with silky-smooth, irritation-free swagger.

At Urbane Commando we love beards – but when the time comes to shave, do it like you’ve been there before.  Ditch the plastic toys and embrace the steel. 

Want more grooming gospel and bodacious beard tips? Stick around. We’ve got plenty more where that came from.  Stay frosty.

Your pal,

Urbane.